Is it truly a reward if it is just another expectation to serve their Dominant? When you reward your submissive, let it be about them and a reinforcement of your praise for their submission. Do this, and their submission will flourish.Īnother aspect of the reward is that it is focused on your submissive and should not have additional expectations or strings. When was the last time you took your submissive to a romantic dinner or went out to a movie and tied the action directly to a reward for her submission? I am not talking about your submissive earning a reward, but truly being spontaneous from the submissives perspective and using it as an acknowledgement of their past services and submission in general. The key element here is surprise, the spontaneity of your actions from their perspective will increase the impact of your recognition. In addition to taking the time to verbally praise your submissive’s individual actions, I believe you also must take time to surprise your submissive with unexpected rewards that they will find pleasing. This kind of feeding of her submission is stronger than any other action I could take and it will result in her wanting to be more submissive in the future. It is important that I stop what I am doing to stroke her hair and verbally tell her she is a good girl with praise for her submission. ![]() She is acknowledging her submission to me while simultaneously requesting connection in a very submissive way. Nothing is more connecting for our D/s than when Renn comes over to me, kneels and asks to go to knee. When they are particularly craving your touch or attention in a highly submissive manner, engage and praise them for their submissive attitude and posture. When your submissive serves, thank them and acknowledge it. Using your words in the moment is critical. Therefore, it is important to take time in your D/s plans to recognize and reward your submissive. If you aren’t feeding your submissive by acknowledging their service, they ultimately will start to feel that their service is taken for granted. I believe it is the part of your early vanilla relationship that they most want to reconnect with by entering a D/s-LTC relationship. Submissives’ crave the attention and praise of their Dominant, particularly in a D/s-LTC relationship. One of the base components of being a submissive is getting pleasure from servicing their Dominant. The challenge herein is that to ask more is not to truly reward and recognize the level of submission she has already achieved. And what is my response? To ask more of her. I am caught up in the euphoria that she is accepting her submission and growing in our dynamic. ![]() ![]() Her mental struggles against my Dominance are becoming smaller and less frequent. She is accepting her training and growing in her submission. Many times, our D/s has entered an ebb because I have not recognized that my submissive is becoming overwhelmed. This must be balanced against the submissive’s desire to serve and please. Part of being the Dom is setting the direction for the submissive to learn, train and grow in their submission. It is easy for a Dominant to overwhelm their submissive with chores, rules, rituals, etc. This is not in words alone, but in the actions you take to care for your submissive’s mental, physical and spiritual well-being. These are critical aspects of any D/s relationship, there is an element of a D/s-LTC relationship that I feel goes farther around the Dom’s responsibility to protect and care for their submissive. There are a lot of blog posts that talk about how to train and control your submissive on here and other websites.
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